Pain In Agony

Yesterday was probably the most memorable night in London so far, well at least for me it is.
Admittedly, there wasn't much going on yesterday, but this one event organized by Friends of Palestine society In collaboration with MAP(Medical Aid for Palestine) organization, there's this sort of 'talk' given by Dr Mads Gilbert.




Ok.. Back to my point..
Yesterday.. The whole session was mainly about Palestinians..
Their strong resilience.. Their courage.. and how they are being denied the human rights that was largely what most people believe in.
All these were presented by a person..
Though I'm not sure whether he is a muslim or not,
But I am sure of one thing,
this one person have seen, witness and at least understand a bit,
of the pain that our brothers has been experiencing.

His talks was not just merely talks, but more of a experience sharing moments,
where he described this tragedy as an human-made disaster,
which cannot be understood
just by looking at the numbers.
We go through patient by patient,
how terrible their situations,
how horrible their conditions.
All these, just because they are Palestinian.

His 'slow-tone' and rather 'moving' voice, definitely touch many hearts yesterday,
as I saw, not only my very own tears dropping,
but of many others, whom are not even Muslim,
and are not having the kind of love that we should have
towards our own brothers and sisters in Palestine.

How terrible the situation was, is beyond any imaginable thought that ones might have, as it is far disastrous than that.
He showed, and explain, and reached our attentions, by telling the story, the experience that he had, being in Gaza during the past bombing period.
He were there for 23days(If I'm not mistaken)
During this time, he witness, an act that he describe as beyond human being, which he rather believe to be a false truth, but in the end, you can never doubt something that you have seen with your own eyes.

He arrived in Palestine via Egypt, as the entrance to Palestine from North has been blocked, with several Israeli tanks and sieges not allowing any entry.
He stayed in Shifa' Hospital, the place where he saw many of his patients come and go, just as if it was a morning clinic with loads of feverish people coming in.
And the most horrific thing about this is that, more than half of this patients are children and women!!

and the ugliest comment that you can ever see from such inhuman-act is given out by shimon perez, the president of Israel.
He said,

"Israel's aim, he said, was to provide a strong blow to the people of Gaza so that they would lose their appetite for shooting at Israel.
Implementation of the current operation had gone 90 percent according to plan."

from http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1231950849038&pagename=JPArticle/ShowFull

note that from his quote up there, he said that the aim was to provide a strong blow to the PEOPLE of Gaza.
not the armed 'terrorist', not the 'Hamas' NO.
but the people. CIVILIAN.
and guess what?
these civilians ARE CHILDREN!
For goodness sake, why?
They(israeli) have been using state-of-the-art drone fighters, which mostly was built in US(not sure whether they are 'presents' or something from US), which has no pilot in it,
because it was controlled by well-trained pilot from thousands of miles away, with joystick with which they can shoot and launch missiles etc. from.



They apply the kill and forget policy, which the pilot can take a break from their 'duty' and have fun or even go back home to their family and all.
they can land the drone to somewhere where theres thousands of tanks and sieges, (which I'm quite sure its almost everywhere) and they can 'shutdown' their exciting little game. GAME OF KILLING!

And for you information, these drones are not used during one-off-attack only.
Instead, its being used EVERY DAY, almost every hour you can hear the buzzing of the drone on top of you head, and you would probably need to run, as you never know, these drones sometimes 'accidentally' dropped their missiles on civilian.

Oh, and yeah, about the drones again. Their missiles are super-world class, it has cameras on it, that will show live broadcast of where this bloody missile are going to hit, WHO they are about to crash into, whether its a pregnant mom, a small kid, an old farmer or a fully equipped man with bombs and rifles on him. THEY CAN SEE THIS CLEARLY. yet, they wanted to kill the children instead. look at these shirts, worn by Israeli soldier(or more like robots) WITH PRIDE.
the left one means 1 shot/bullet 2 kills.(the way I see it:killing this pregnant women will kill her as well as her unborn baby. its DOUBLE KILL man!)
the right one means the smaller the bigger.(the way I see it:since this kid is a small lil kid, why not blasting him off with a bigger gun, bazooka maybe?)

there's also a short video showing the situation as these drones approach an area. Which is, like almost all the time. I'm soo sorry I did'nt manage to find the link.. But yesterday it was shown in the lecture hall, and indeed it was damn scary.Horrifying scenes.
You ain't seeing a horror movie until you've seen this.



no no no.. don't close your eyes just yet. You have yet to witness the world's Nobel Prize of Peace Winner in action just yet!
Shimon Perez, alongside his Prime Minister(its weird isn't? Israel have a President(perez) and a PM(nentanhya--- whatever?)) declares that the world's law of wars need to be reevaluated, as they feel Israel should be given a bigger role in fighting terrorist(something like this).
Translation: We want to kill everyone we like, don't disturb us.

For goodness sake, are they even human?
And seriously, all these are nothing compared to what Dr. Mads Gilbert had said yesterday.
he often say that these tragic disaster cannot be understood in numbers, statistics, you need to know the individual cases to understand the scene better.

he first started showing pictures of a girl, 9 months, brought to the hospital, without any relatives or families around her.
She lost 3 fingers, thumb, 2nd finger n 3rd one.
She had a largely burnt body, a result of the real 'terror' in this case.

Then there's this boy, aged 11, was found barely breathing, with one of his leg(from waist) cut off. another leg suffer severe bruises and his 'tapak kaki' was already in cut into several pieces.
from waist and above, everything was ok. no real bruises, nothing. only his legs were torn apart.
He died a few minutes later.
TO be honest, how this boy can be hurt this bad?
of course, its the DIME bomb these stup*d drones are using.
DIME is indeed a powerful bomb, that releases several other metals like sharpnel, which will basically cuts everything in the range of what? 10 metres maybe?

Then theres another girl, aged 15, found without legs.
( Dr. Mads remembers every single name of his patients)

then there another small girl, aged 4
she was super-quiet.
she was sent alone in an ambulance,(because Israeli sieges are guarding the area, and they don't allow anyone to move from one place to another freely)
and when Dr Mads and his colleagues checked her, they found a big hole behind her back, affecting her spinal cord. He mentioned about some weird words(probably medical terms) that they carry out, and Alhamdulillah she was saved.
but then, Dr Mads continue, for the rehabilitation, he check on her, and the only thing that he heard coming out of her mouth was ''mama....mama....mama...'' whispering so sharply, so thin voice so deep.
Dr Mads said, that was indeed the voice that he can remember most from Gaza.
the sharp whispering of a small Palestinian girl, who wanted to see her mom.

Then there's another patient, ALSO A SMALL kid, found badly injured.
Her father, Khaled Abed Rabbo was reported to quote

"Two soldiers were on the tank eating chips, then one man came out of the tank with a rifle and started shooting the kids,"

source--please read this, amazingly important.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/gaza-i-watched-an-israeli-soldier-shoot-dead-my-two-little-girls-1452294.html

It was his kids that he meant, both of his daughters to be accurate was killed. and luckily the 3rd daughter, was 'only' badly injured.


So, is this the democracy that we're talking about?
is this the great 'peace' that we're living in?
Is this the mightily 'justice' we're boasting around?
Go and throw them away.
They ain't exist.

Before this, it takes a person to BE a terrorist to deny them world's protection.
Nowadays, it takes one random quote from some 'animals' to do the same.

During the Gaza conflict early this year, a school was also bomb.
UN school. A place where it has been guaranteed safe by UN.
was bomb.
A lot of CHILDREN were killed.
when being asked by reporters, what did the Israel spokesperson answer?
they are being used by Hamas as a barrack etc etc.
that's the echoes of their 'default' answer.

When the reporters asked about the number of children being killed, guess what the answer?
"THEY ARE HAMAS CHILDREN"
wth???
These innocent children has nothing to do with the bloody politic that they are fighting against.
even if there are, Israel has no right to shoot them like that.
speaking about rights, Hamas won the election, FAIR and SQUARE. the result of the election has been verified and recognized by many agencies and bodies.
Where is the JUST you were talking about?

My brothers, sisters, you have yet to see the full picture just yet.
Believe me, you have yet see the true picture.
When I was in the lecture hall yesterday, I was trying not to cry most of the time.
but seeing, well, more on hearing(*it was dark actually, the light were switched off) other people which are not even muslims cry, it showed something.
There's lot of charity body coming yesterday, to show their support.
Dr. Mads said, Palestinian don't need our money that much, they need our support the most.
They felt as if they have been betrayed by the rest of the world, since in their eyes, there is no justice, let alone world peace.

Dr. Mads himself has been criticized by many people, saying that he should do what a doctor does, and not as a reporter.
But Dr. Mads final last word yesterday,

"Does reporting these make me a terrorist? If so, then BE IT!"

Can you imagine his spirit? His willingness?
Ya Allah, If he is not a Muslim, show him the light Ya Allah. Show us the light. Let us be among the one you bless. Aameen.

And oh yeah, I forgot to mention the phosphorus bomb yet.
Well, maybe lots of you have already know it anyway.
These bombs not only kills, but also retards your growth, etc2.

too much said,
Ask your self, are you a human?

*to see more about Dr Mads and his journey and experience in Gaza, go to youtube, write Dr. Mads Gaza.
Wassalam.

Sebelum kite ckap ape2, Meh tgk dulu gambo2 dr Notts Game.
:)















Hee~
best gak jumpe member2 lame tyme notts game ari tu.. Terubat gak arr rhendu sket2...

Erm... Back to our point... Hidup di perantauan..
Jujur aku cakap, hidup kat sinilah saat paling mencabar bwat masa neh untuk aku.. Tp Alhamdulillah, kat sini gak arr aku blaja A LOT of things, especially about Islam.
Betapa Indahnya "brotherhood" dlm Islam tu, aku ease kat sini je la aku dpt rase. Contoh plg bes, td tyme dinner, aku makan ngan A'dil ngan Yosef, sorang Pakistani Brtsh, sorang Palestinian German. Sangat best. Ktorang ckp psl eid adha, psl places in London, psl medic(A'dil bdk medic) n mcm2 lg!! Psl family, psl foods, psl skype dll.. Best sgt!! Ade la dkt 2 jam... Haha.. Tak jadik aku study td.

Pastu Adil ajak pg talk palestin esok dr Dr ape ntah.. She's a Chinese Malaysian!! I'm really looking forward for tmmrw.. Hrmm.. Alhamdulillah, walau jauh dr sedare2, aku dpt dok dkt ngan 'sedara' seagama dr tmpat lain... Indahnya takdir Allah..

Salam.
Just got back from from a session with Bank Of England's
Deputy gabenor, Charlie Bean.
He gave a talk on the previous financial crisis(while largely putting the blame on US economy) and gave(should gave) an insight review of why was it bad, n what BoE had done to cope with the problem. It was ok, but me, Deepak n Bhavik hardly appreciate his talks. Lol~




Btw, before that, I bought a curry chicken with rice in ULU. Then I ate it with my kitchen mate, Yosef.(well, of course, he ate his own meal, which happens to be curry chcken as well!!)
Yosef's father is a Palestinian. He went to Germany, to study medicine and end up marrying a local women.
Then there came Yosef, a German guy.

I have to say, talking with Yosef is definitely one of the most exciting thing to do in the kitchen(other than burning my hand of course:] ).
He told me that he often go back to Palestine as most of his relatives are still there.
He said that once, when he was still small, there was this 'intifada. There were a lot of soldiers carrying weapon and all that, and such situation was already being seen by a small kid of what, 5 or something.
And he also told me about the refugee camp, which was quite near to the place where his relatives stay, often was inspected by the Israelis. And most of the time, they came by tank, and seems the road in that area is super-small, they will make an announcement asking all occupier to leave the building, and using these tanks, they will RAMP through all the buildings there!!!
Can you imagine that???
Yosef said, for Palestinian, such situation is almost routine for them that they are quite used to it.
He even mentioned that one of his cousins was imprisoned by the Israelis for nothing.
That how bad the situation is.

Dear brothers . If you look at the Palestinian, you'll see how tough and brave they are, just to defend their own country, for their own religion.
Will you do the same if asked to?

And one more thing, living in London had definitely opened my eyes at how beatiful is Islam with it's beotherhood thingy. Qhen I go to the prayers hut, there were multiple races there, Malays, Pakistani, Arabs, maurice, and a whole lot of other ppl. But we are all here united, they are super-friendly, especially qhen they were told that you are a Muslim as well. They call u brother, they ask your well-being, they asked about your studies and all just like they really cares. You see, being here 'almost alone' makes you feel lonely. But with these brothers, i felt the secure feeling, feel just as if being taken care of, being help in some way. Here I sad it, I never felt as prud as I am now being a Muslim.
Alhamdulillah~~
may Allah show me the right path.
Aameen
--Posted from my iPhone

Right now it's autumn.
Damn cold already. Can't imagine what it's like in the winter.. Hopefully I won't die freezing.. Lol~

Look at some of this pics. Classy~~











All the leaves are falling already.. Not long from now, there won't be any leaf left. It just shows us that time never wait for u. It just keep on going no matter what you do.
So value and use ur time carefully, as it ain't coming back. Ever.
And if there's anything I can learn from this. It's definitely not to linger. Do everything decisively, as well as instantly, so that the chance will not past away. So, move ur lazy bum, at start doing things the right way. N create greatness in ur life. Because you know, you are destined for such things.

-----posted from my iPhone

Moral of movie~
Most of the time, people tend to not realize what they are capable of doing, until one day something happened, when they gonna have to put their true colors on.
They will perform way above their expectations, that they will feel that they got everything that they've always wanted.
But when this moment finally arrives, lots of people will eventually get over themselves, that they forgot at the end of the day, they are after all, just one helpless human being.
They will start to be too ambitious, and put enormous pressure on themselves, which will eventually came back haunting their lives.
Remember, we are after all Allah's creatures. He is the only person that can help us no matter what the situation is. If you fall, just remember, you just got another reason to come back stronger.

Alhamdulillah, all praise be to Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most merciful.
Today, I got a chance to attend a debate between two great people, with undoubtedly abundant knowledge.
It was a debate between
Mr. Hamza Andreas Tzortzis. *click to see his blog*
(He is a senior researcher and lecturer for iERA. He has participated in debates both at home and internationally with leading academics and intellectuals. Hamza delivers lectures across the world to articulate and shed indispensable light on Islam and its way of life.)

and Mr. Rick Lewis
(he is the founder and editor of Philosophy Now, and thereby one of the main initiators of the popular philosophy movement in the English speaking world.)


It was indeed a very interesting session, which mostly talk about the definition of good deeds, who draws the line between good and evil etc.
It all starts with Mr Hamza making his opening speech, where he underlines 2 main points, which is
1.God make sense to the explanation of the origin of life
2.God make sense to the explanation og the fine tuning of life.

Infinity, a word which means no beginning nor ending, is according to him non-existence in this life. He starts off by giving an analogy to negate this fact, in order to show people that everything starts off with something.
He said,
''If I have an infinite number of bananas, and I give someone 2 bananas, what is the remaining bananas that I still have?''
"yeah, it doesn't make sense doesn't it? It only bananas to you right?"
and the hall broke into laughter.
Then he starts explaining the Big Bang Theory, which he claims to be VERY VERY magical, because of its rareness.
The probability of it happening is so low, that it must not happen by its own, there must be 'Someone' who make it happen.
Even according to him, a lot of scientist(he gave about 4-5 names really, but I can't remember any. lol~) said that even if the expansion rate of the matter after the Big Bang differ by 1/(10^10), (which really really small), the world will collapse and the living intelligent on this world will not exist.
Then there's lot of other points, (where I couldn't remember~~:p )
He did say things about everything must have its own purpose, causes etc.

Then it was Rick's turn.
He started off by questioning the definition of the word GOD itself.
It was indeed true what he said, where the definition of GOD is indeed very wide.
Sometimes, people believe that the nature itself as 'god'.
Then he starts questioning about the nature of God, what is HE like, what etc.
He even included the 'problem of evil.'
He also said something about
''I haven't found anything that cannot be described without believing in god''
*maksudnya, suma benda boleh explain even kalo kita tak kait kan dengan tuhan.*
and then he argued *this one aku tak berapa paham*
about the purpose of God creating the world.
He said, before the Big Bang Theory, there is no time.
*the definition of time: starts AFTER big bang.*
hence there should not be a ''cause'' for making the world, because causes must be followed by effects, which must be related to time."



But he DO have one very good point.
*he approximately said this one.*
Things right now as it happened, though the probability of it happening is mightily low, means that other events also can happen, no matter how low the probability is.
I mean the Earth, even by the slightest difference, might cause the human not compatible to live in it. But we never know, if the difference might suit other living organism.
Then they will say how precise 'god' is, though the fact it all happen randomly.

Then we all proceed to the Q&A session, where there is lots of hands raised to ask.
Here where it gets a lil' bit better I mean, only here I heard what I want to hear, because throughout the debate, both speakers never actually face-to-face with each other.
One person says about 1+1=2, the other said 5+2=7.
There was no direct contact really.
They were just arguing about definitions, epistemological, and then some other weird ''philosophical'' words.
No direct engagement with the content.
but during the Q&A, people asks, and then only it starts to be a bit exciting.
someone asked about islam, qoran etc.
someone else questions about atheism, etc.
then there were even an old lady who express her opinion about religion brings wars etc.
then there's a christian who wanted Mr Hamza to comment on the book of revelation etc.
all in all, the experience was amazing.

HOWEVER, there is something that I found uncomfortable though.
Its the fact that when it comes to talks as such, there will be A LOT of muslems, and we are the majority.
BUT that doesn't make us better.
I mean, a lot of people were giving gestures and scary look when Mr Rick talks.
I believe NO ONE can give a good talk when he is surrounded as such.
and then when there's this man claiming ''I am a christian, and I wanna......"
suddenly the crowd makes an uncomfortable sound.
WHAT IS THIS eh?
Fine we all believe in Allah, Alhamdulillah.
But WHY MUST WE sort of ''hate'' other people?
If they don't believe in what we do, stop hating them as such!
I mean, even Allah had said once in surah Al-Kafirun, the last verse.
"for you your religion, for me mine."
There's this sceptically feeling that most muslim acted badly towards others that make them feel as if
"its either you're a muslim, or you're an enemy''
OMG!!!

what is it yeah?
Pleasse.
For Ad-din.
Lets make the change, Insha-Allah.

At last, the class starts~~~~~~~
I'm not sure whether I'm ready or not for the lectures and all, but seriously, I am overly excited!!
I bought lots of ref. books already(hopefully I won't be selling it back next year as an 'unused' book, if you know what I mean...)
There's this Macroeconomics book, by Williamson, which Professor Nicola Pavoni seems to like very much.

It costs me about 4o£, for a new book.(some seniors are selling the very same book for about 30£++, so I figured that I might as well buy a brand new one :)
But the thing is, when it arrives, I was very excited. I open the parcel(by DHL btw~), but as soon as I turned the first page, there was this symbols that makes me feel disgruntled a bit.
it written there RM79.95
I was like, OH MY GOD!!! Is this book from Malaysia????
Then I look back at the parcel, and certainly, the order that I place to a seller who called himself as uk-textbook-store or something was a Malaysian.
That means, I bought something that could only cost me RM80 for 40£.
that was like RM150 more!!!
but I think it was ok, because even in Waterstone, when I check it, it costs around 50-60£. and since the book arrived just 2 days after my purchase, so I was quite pleased though.


Then the classes.
again, OH MY GOD.
Seriously, what the heck is all this?
I mean, the lecturers was all quite interesting, and indeed knowledgeable, but the students...
Aaarggghh..
Everyone seems to be trying to show off or something, there's this "I am cleverer than you are"
feeling each time someone raise up their hand.
Well you see, I don't mind if they just wanna ask question or sumthing, but the problem is, some people just raised their hand to voice out the ''knowledge''.
Just as if there are the only person that know where the google is, the wiki and all.
HELLO~~
If you wanna talk about financial crisis, when someone else is talking about something, just to show to everyone that you read the news, COME ON???
Its just like you wanna tell a group of world leaders ''How to cook curry".
Da~~~(fine, maybe I was exaggerating, but seriously~)

And the lectures.. Errggghh.. Never thought it would very hard to become a good uni student..
The lectures only cover like 15% of the things that you need to know, and the rest is entirely up to you.
That means, for Econs, I have to read thousands of articles just to equipped myself for the modules...
*that doesn't count those that I want to 'brag' about in class.. deeerrrggghh... :S *

But overall, I have to say, life never gets easier eh?