Pain In Agony

You know, Its been so depressing for me in the past weeks. Not only because I did'nt manage to post anything on this blog,(I've actually halfway finished writing several posts, but in the end delete it back as I felt its just not right...haisyh...) but also because I'm started to feel the pressure of A-level results. The thought of "what to do next if.." has been haunting me for months and I just hope that Allah will lead me to what's best for me.

I tried to write about BNM's pre-depature camp, where I met several other UCL offer holders, and all of us are relishing the prospect of landing at Heathrow Airport together.. About the bonds that we have formed together, and how we were taught throughout the camp to trust each other etc2.. The fact that we got a chance to hold 1 million ringgit cash, having a chance to see 8 billion or sumthing was indeed fantastic.



Then I also tried to write about our BTN camp held in Besut, where I for the very first time had the chance of seeing K.Terengganu's city centre with Shafiq, Zul, and Syahir(KY's friends.) About the 'controversial' btn issues, as well as the tonnes of knowledge that we, the participant obtain from the camp itself. Then I even had a chance to meet my old buddy from MRSM taiping, Fihmi. He's going to Indonesia doing Medicine, and I wish him all the best of luck.

There are also a few other articles, such as ISA, Nizar, Khairy J, Anak Wayang etc2... But all of these was terminated half-way through because I felt uncomfortable with them. I'm not sure why, I just felt its not right.

But now, I'm gonna tell you something else. Something that I found rather peculiar and uncomfortable. I can still recall clearly those moments where I actually make a few lies to my friends to impress them. The idea was to tell something that they will never be able to find out. And it was fun really to do things like that.

But when I grew up a little bit, I learn the importance of being honest, and how this quality can actually help ones to succeed. But now, I realized such quality can be considered rare, and will only 'kill' us. Its ironic really, because people keep on lying, beside the fact that they don't want to be cheated. There's some stories lately that people being hypnotized just by having simple conversations. For example, my mother's friend's case. her daughter was using LRT on her way back home when suddenly a handsome gentlemen approach her asking a very simple question. he asked, "When is raya?" and suddenly everything seems dark and the next thing this poor girl remember was realizing herself being robbed. She lost every single valuable items, luckily she did'nt got hurt.

Then, there's a case in my neighborhood. There's this house, having both husband and wife working, with only their 'bibik' taking care of the house and their children. Suddenly came two people, man and woman claiming that they were the house owner's siblings and they came by to check the house's condition. When this 'bibik' open the door, she was threatened using a broad knife while the house being 'swept' clean. All cash, jeweleries, computers etc were stolen.

Then there's also another case of a woman stopping in front of your house asking for directions. She looked decent, wearing a 'tudung labuh' with a smile. And when you approach her, open the gate etc, suddenly you can't remember a thing and found yourself being tied to a chair with your house again being robbed.

What the hell? I know lying is fun(in those days), but come on! these people are actually lying to get what they want(money, etc) by hurting other people!! This is not fun anymore!! when I was a small boy, my teacher always remind us that lying is a sin. Its bad, not good etc. I think maybe these people did'nt go to school that they did'nt realize their action is sinful. The worst part is, all of these people are no other than MUSLIMS. MALAYS. yup, just like most of us, the learnt about 'budi bahasa' they learnt about 'azab api neraka'. But why did they do these thins still?

Lets just pray that Allah will show them the light. May Allah protect us from any kind of harm. Aameen

Have you ever felt very angry at someone that your head blew off? You feel like shouting thousands of swear words to that individual and feel like stabbing him/her multiple times with a rambo knife? Well, if and only if you have such emotions, you shall continue reading this, as it may contain some hazardous advice that may disrupt your well-balanced hormone atm.. ngeh3..

Ok, this is it.

you see, lately I've been thinking that why on Earth must human hate each other? I mean, we all are the same, and even in science we are classified under one huge name, homosapien . So what's the problem really?

Tell me, when you were still a small boy/girl, what did u feel when you saw an old man fell down? PITY right? you felt as if you want to help him in any way. Where has that 'PITHINESS' gone to? Tell me, was George W Bush did not go through a 'childhood'? Did he never being taught the importance of "loving human being"? Did he never being taught the magic of "PEACE"? If he did, who on this earth has delete them from his memory as he did'nt seem to know anything about the qualities mentioned above. Actually, the war between countries happen because there is no mutual agreement on sumthing. That makes both (or sumtimes multiple) countries to use weapons to decide the call. In order to discuss why such mutual agreement cannot exist, we shall examine the most basic concept of 'war' between human being. Its the fight, or in malay "gaduh" that even me myself sumtimes keep having. A human will 'hate' or even 'beat' another human mainly because there is no agreement reached btwn the two. And maybe this one side is very unhappy with the situation that he/she decided to take action. This is when the world peace is being threatened.

When you meet a small kid, (I mean younglings), ask them. What is their point of view about seeing people dying in war. some of them will straight away cry back to their parents, and the tougher and braver ones will still say that they don't like such things. But when the very same boy, a couple of years later, will not necessarily give the same respond. Why is that so? because, as we get older(an supposedly wiser) we tend to have different aims, wants and needs. Initially, a young kid will only know that he/she wanted to play and have fun. There are no aims that they must achieve. Nothing. That means, no pressure at all. No expectations(no parents would expect to get RM200 from a 5 year old boy monthly, right?). Nothing. That makes us not bonded to any responsibility, and at that time, it makes us feel very much happy. Thus, LESSON NUMBER ONE: When we are happy, no responsibility etc, we will try to make other people happy as well.

But what if we are angry? Say I hate this A***** person. How can I share happyness with him/her? Well, you see, happiness is sumthing that cannot be kept forever. When you are happy, you have to realise that the happiness will not last long. So, you need to make full use of it while its there. How to use it? Share it. Spread the happiness. When this happen, the other person, who is also happy will then spread his/her happy aura back, making everyone happy. BUT BE CAUTION!!! there is no one specific way in sharing your happiness. And believe me, by telling your success to another person, that is not what 'sharing means' in this context. You will just make the other person envy with your achievement, and as a result, he/she would like you to stop bragging. If he/she did'nt managed to tell you exactly that, and you on the other hand did not stop, a CONFLICT will occur. This will lead to a misunderstanding, which will later on cause hatred to be shared(just like happiness, hatred is the same thing. Cannot last, and share-able). When this happens, this is the point where the world peace will start to collapse.
LESSON NUMBER TWO: Share happiness, but be caution not to spread hatred. Both are infectious.


Let me make a very good point of what I'm trying to say above. You see, when someone who cause discomfort in your eyes come closer, there is always hatred over there. If you let that same feeling to be shared, then BOOM. someone might has his/her ass kicked. Just treat everyone, ANYONE, even those you hate so much with care and affection. This will make them happy, and thus they will share their happiness back to us. For example, I used to hate so much when my mother ask me to run an errand on sumthing, and that hatred feeling will flow all over my body that it started to spill over. As a result, I will do the task with a rather sour face and my mother will not be happy as well. It will be a loss-loss situation. But if I accept her request with smile, do it wholeheartedly, I will not feel burdened by the task. Instead, it will be like the most awaited adventure ever. She will be happy, and as a result, I will be rewarded(not necessarily larh.., but you see, when people appreciate our contribution, it will make us a lot happier) with some kind of gifts etc. A win-win situation. LESSON NUMBER THREE: swallow your hatred. Let Happiness rule your body.

LESSON NUMBER FOUR: A misunderstanding always end up with a solution. But there is two possible outcome. One, It is solved with mutual agreement, second, it is solved with one-sided selfish approach, that might cost the other side a fortune.

Though I might sound crazy, but in Economics, this thing is somehow not relevant. In Economics, the stress is commonly on EFFICIENCY, which for me is a really bad word. You see, in order to achieve efficient-level, people tend to do their best(which is good) but sometimes at other people's cost. There is no sharing when money come into discussion, There is no willingness to sacrifice when its about wealth. Its as simple as that. Even some economist describe efficiency as the state in which no one can be better-off without worsening other people's condition. (ref: Undecover Econ, Tim Harford) So, while we are in "rat-race and paper-chase" in becoming efficiency, we tend to forget all basic qualities that being taught when we were like 6. When we learn about the power of science in building flabbergasting techs, we only see it as a mean of lowering Marginal Efficiency Scale(MES) curve(ie AC curve). We see the frantic pace of nuclear development as a "route" to 'end' misunderstanding, so that the process of 'gaining' efficiency can be made faster. You see, sometimes, being efficient is not enough. Say that every single people in the world lost all their money to Bill Gates. He will be enormously rich. But everybody else is broke. Is that really is an ideal place to live? the answer is no. So, basically, we are all well-aware with the fact that we want to be as rich as possible, as powerful as a king etc. But remember, this is NOT a good thing in terms of preserving the "WORLD PEACE". As this can only be achieved when everyone share their happiness if not their fortune as well.

It was dark that night. The wind blows in a perpetual manner that it seems all the trees are waving without end. It was freezing, to say the very least, that ink-dark night.

A man, noble and pious, was performing du'a, praying for Allah to grant his wishes. He lived in a small hut, barely equipped with floors and walls. And as expected, Abba, was in dead-cold condition. He was hoping for some heat, and possibly a fireplace, to warm his shaking body.

Another man, filled with greed and hatred, was standing miles away in his 5-inch-thick coat. He was very much comfortable, with his luxury possessions, and can be simply described as anything but the poor Abba. He was having trouble sleeping that night, despite his wealthy belongings was keeping him warm and safe in the blazing and freezing night. He stared outside, and suddently felt that he wanted to demonstrate his 'power' to Abba, that he decided to go to Abba's hut. He brought along his gas-lamp.

Abba was still praying at that time. he eavesdrop Abba's prayer, and heard,
" O' Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. You are the Lord of all man, and You are the Most Powerful of all. Grant me heat, as I am freezing without Your help, grant me light, as I am in darkness without Your light. "

The rich man suddenly thought about an idea. He wanted to give this poor Abba 'light' and 'heat', and would like to see Abba's reaction. He quietly put his gas-lamp infront of Abba's door and knock the door many times. He then hid behind a huge rock.

Abba: Alhamdulillah, Allah, You have granted my wishes by giving me this gas-lamp. Now I can burn my logs and start a fireplace. Allahuakbar! Alhamdulillah.

Rich Man: Wait a minute you poor little brat! there is NO ALLAH's HELP! that lamp was mine. I purposedly put it in front of you door! not Allah. you should thank me, not Him. Even I was listening to your prayer, He did'nt. Can't you see? Allah is NOT LISTENING TO YOUR PRAYER!

Abba:(shocked with the rich man's statement, while burning some sticks and logs)Oh, my.. I'm sorry, I did'nt notice you were there. Thank you for your help, Alhamdulillah, Allah answers my prayer. Here you go, your gas-lamp. I can't thank you enough for your kindness, may Allah repay you for your deeds.

Rich man: Are you deaft or something? I said I was the one giving you the lamp. Not Allah. Why must you thank him? He's not even listening to your prayers let alone aswering them!

Abba: I'm sorry, but I think you are not blind.

Rich man: What!!! you ungrateful little pest!

Abba: I mean, you are not blind but you did'nt see clearly. It was Allah who sent you here to give me this help. If it was'nt because of Him, you might have been asleep or something, but he wanted to answer my prayers, via you. you come here and lend me a help. But it was Him that at the very first place puts into your heart to initiate you to come here and help me. Allah's the one that make all things work, Allah is the most gracious, the Most merciful. Lord of the Judgement Day, Lord of the Earth and Sky, Heaven and Hell. He's the one that have been putting everything into place. Right?

Rich man: (embarrased) Owh.. I see what you mean.. I'm sorry..



The moral of the story, remember, everything happens because Allah wanted it to happen. Beyond our understanding, Allah knows better. He has put things into order, that we should be very grateful of. That's why we should say "alhamdulillah'' for frequently, because Allah's rahmah was way beyond any borders. Alhamdulillah.