Pain In Agony

Minggu neh reading week.
takda klas seminggu.
homework banyak, tp tunggu dulu lah~
cuti seminggu.
:p


Hari Ahad aritu, aku nak pg Warwick. Tp something really bad happen.
trip canceled.
bile lg nak pg warwick?
tunggu dululah~
dok UK 3 taon.


aku nak bace buku Econs.
Tapi laptop kat dpan mata dok kaco.
Nak shutdown.
tp ter'tempted' dgn facebook.
econs? tunggu dululah~
lpas FB bley lg bace.


hahaha.. tula die perangai aku seminggu neh. dok tangguh2 langsung tak bwat pape.
seb bek aku tak tangguh2 kan makan. kalo x lgsung takde meal.
lol~

itu ke takdir yg aku maksudkan dgn tajuk title neh?
bukan... well.. sgt bukan sebnanye..


PERINGATAN!!!! POST INI BERBAUR RIAK DAN TAKABBUR SIKIT.
TERPAKSA. SEBAB SEDANG BERSEDEH. INGIN ME-NEUTRALKAN SEMULA DENGAN KEGEMILANGAN. MAAF LA BUAT SEMUA YG MEMBACA(ade ke?) KALO RASE AKU CAM BANGGA TAK BERTEMPAT. SNGT MAAF.KALO ANDA RASA TAK SUKA DENGAR KERIAKAN AKU, MASIH BELUM TERLAMBAT UNTUK MENUTUP BROWSER ANDA DAN MENGELAKKAN DIRI TERSEKSA MEMBACA SEJARAH AKU.LOL~~

Aku skunk berada pd tahap sangat down.
IE sangat sedeh n tertekan. Bengang n emo.
haa... sebabnye?
biarlah rahsia.

Aku tak rasa macam 'Aqmin' yang aku knal dulu.
tak se'cherghas' mcm dulu
tak se'determined' mcm dulu.

takde rase nak strive.
takde rase nak sacrifice.
otak jadik tak btol.
otak jadik sangat tak kuat.
kotor sgt kot?

dulu selalu gak rase cam neh..
n tiap2 kali aku down..
aku akan lihat my past..
segala mende.. yg bleyh mengukir senyuman..
bleyh menambah keazaman..
memperbaiki iman~

penah skali kat tepeng..
aku dok dalam shower
and pasang air while duduk bersila
mcm bertapa..hahaha..
nak ingatkan balik my past..
my 'victory'.

tapi kali neh..
aku cube mende yg same..
tapi aku rase cam kosong.
memori takde..(memory card tak masuk ketat kot? :p)
takleh nak ingat sangat mende2 yg best dulu.

n then...
teringat balik...
macam2.. rasa sedeh. gembira.
campur.

perkara paling lama aku boleh ingat.. sampai skrang..
is when aku umor 3 taon.
aku dok kat rumah penjaga aku..
aku pggl die 'ibu'.
aku suke kebun bunge die.
sbb ade satu pokok warne kelabu yang mcm rambut berjela2.
waktu aku pindah, ibu ade kasik satu pokok untuk aku.
;)

then waktu 3 taon jgak.
mak n ayah aku bwak pg pra-sekolah.
nak antar aku la.

cg tu mcm taknak kasik. ye la, baru 3 taon.
tp mak aku mintak jugak. hopefully die kasik..
but then.. aku pg depan cikgu tu n cakap.
''cikgu ada kasut bewarna merah. cantik.''
*kecik2 dah pandai mengampu. lorh~*
tp aku cakap aku xmo pg klas. nak dok rumah ibu.
hee~~

n then waktu umor 5 taon aku masuk tadika.
Tadika Intan Methodist namenye.
sblah ade kedai cina, jual air kopi sangat sedap.
hahaha.. tadika2 lagi aku dah pandey beli air sdr.
dok mintak duet blanje nak beli air.
wakakaka..

tyme neh aku knal sorang kawan.
name die Khairul Izzudin.
bleyh kate die best friend aku arr sampai dajah 2.
sangat sedeh sbb lpas tuh aku pindah..
n tak jumpe pon die lagi..
tak sangka lak die masuk KYS..
haha...
camne aku taw?
itulah kehebatan Facebook.lol~

crite kat tadika neh banyak lagi!
ade kes aku gaduh(ssshhhh.. jgn gitaw mak aku. die pon tak taw mende neh..hehe)
ngan sorang budak india.

ade kes aku kne rotan ngan cg.
ade kes aku gaduh ngan sorang cina.
ingat lg skali tuh bdk cina neh pggl aku,
"you have no manners."

sgt teruk kan?
bley kate kalo aku tgk sejarah aku tyme kecik2 aku neh mmg la sangat jahat orangnye.
harap 'perform' depan cg konon rajen je.
hakikatnye, akhlak n sahsiah, sangatlah zero.

bnyak lg. tapi takpe, kite skip part awal neh, kite trus pg zaman2 kegemilangan.
boleh?
hehe

Aku dapat 5A UPSR.
Tapi sebulan pastu aku nanges guling2.
sebab ape?
takdapat offer MRSM.
SANGAT SEDEH.

member aku, Fithri Zulkifly, dapat MRSM Lenggong.
member sorang lg, Hariz Azman, dapat STAR Ipoh.
depe berdue, campor sorang lagi, Afif Razif, adelah 'best-friend' aku semasa zaman skolah rendah di SKSAA Kuala Kangsar. sgt rhendu mereka.~~

Pastu, aku 'paksa' diri aku terima hakikat, aku tak dapat masuk MRSM.
aku pon besame2 ngan mak aku beli baju skolah, seluar kaler hijau.
sedangkan abang aku, waktu tu Form5, beli baju skolah ngan seluar kaler coklat, sbb die dok MRSM Taiping. sedeh tak?

Setelah hamphir 2 bulan 'bersinar' di sekolah besa, SMK sheikh Abdul Ghani, Bidor,
aku terkezut tahap super bile dapat offer MRSM PDRM Kulim.
berbelah bhgi plak nak pg.
PDRM?
ade kawat2 ke?
xmoo!!!!!!

tp setelah ditanye2kan,
(mak aku smangat sampai kol pjbat MARA)
PDRM tu mrsm cam besa. cuma ltaknye dalam kem batalion.
Fine, aku pg.

Kite skip lagi, part2 awal di PDRM.
kite pg ke tgh2 form 1.
aku join 'audition' bahas.
asal nye taknak, malas.
tapi sbb wajib satu klas hantar plg kurang 3 orang, aku join.
Bersama2 ngan Arina Diyana ngan Shearhan Mahtar.

Sinilah aku knal Kak Pieqa, Kak Syakirin, Kak Najwa, Abang Aizwan, Abang Ibrahim.
Sangat hebat orang2 ini.
form 2 ja dah rajen wat audition.
sgt bes~

Dari sinilah, aku direkemen waktu form 2 untuk masuk Pidato.
Sangat teruk, sangat tak reti.
haha..
lawak gile.
Pg MRSM Transkrian, naek pentas tak taw pape.
gabra tahap super.
rasenye aku peserta plg teruk malam tuh.
lol~

aku sebnanye dilatih untuk bahas sepanjang form 2 tuh.
tp camne ntah bdk pidato tarik diri, aku kne ganti.
*sbb aku peserta ganti untuk bahas.*

so mcm tak btol gak arr..haha..

Tapi tyme form 3, ade bahas antara kelas.klas aku masuk final~
n menang~
haha..
tajuk last tak silap aku something pasal kokurikulum kot. ye la, bahas bdk2 kecik..hehe..

pastu, aku terpilih masuk top 10 bahas untuk wakil maktab
(sbb abg Im, Kak pieqa, abg Aizwan, Kak syakirin) dah jadik form 4, so depe tak leh masuk
lower form pnye.

final audition, aku dpt best speaker(lagi..wahh.. riak gitu~hehehe)
n terpilih jadik pmbahas maktab.
Aku, Fadli Zailan, Arif Safwan, Faiz Zain, ngan Farahtul Ain.

Dengan gempaqnye, kami menggegar MRSM Langkawi.
hehehe..
Menang bergaya waktu final vs MRSM Pendang,
siap 3rd speaker depe di'pressure' tahap super, die cakap ''sekian trime kaseh''
*apparently bdk neh jadik junior bahas aku lak kat tepeng..wakaka*

tajuk waktu tuh Wanita Mampu Menjadi Pemimpin.
best speaker? takyah la tanye..hehehe

pastu masuk peringkat kebangsaan.
1st match lawan MRSM Pasir Salak.
Lawan ngan Alia Dalila, aka my teammate kat tepeng.

Tajuk, Pekerja Asing something2. (memantapkan ekonomi rasenye)
menang. Best Speaker? Sape la agaknye..*wah riak super aku neh.. Astaghfirullah...*

final, lawan ngan MRSM Batu Pahat, aka defending champion.
cuak dow.
aku rase aku pg toilet berkali2 hari tuh.
takut.
haha

result: kalah.
:(
tajuk Kemajuan Perubatan Moden Mengesampingkan Perubatan Tradisional.
best speker? BUKAN aku.
lol~

pastu tyme form 3 gak, aku bjaye dpat 3.57 untuk TPNG.
tak tinggi kan?
aku overall number 11.
tp tyme form 2, aku dapat hadiah dr maktab untuk prgi Genting Highland.
sbb dapat top 10.
aku sorang.
laki2 batch aku.
kne tido satu bilik ngan ustad shauqi.
(*warden*)

Kat MRSM PDRM jugak la aku blaja BANYAK perkara.
Sahabat2 seperti Abang Pian, Abang Shafiq, Abang Wan, Abang Faris, Zaid Zonkapri, Shearhan, {Amirul Naim, Syazrie, Afzal, Masri, ngan Darbi juga selaku unit-mate}
banyak berjasa. Terbentuk jati diri, kefahaman Islam, Keberanian, dan jugak persahabatan.

pastu kat Tepeng.
ade banyak lagi peristiwa2 kat sini, tapi rase mcm dah tules panjang sangat kan?
skip la boleh?


then masuk KY.
pon nak skip.
ok kan?

pastu dok kat Taviton Street London neh.
skip?
takde ape nak skip nye oi~~
hehe


Point aku adelah...
Bayangkanlah.
Kalau satupun antara peristiwa2 di atas tak berlaku.
as in berbeza.
akan terbentuk sesuatu yang kita panggil sebagai
''butterfly effect'', yakni perubahan satu titik pd satu timeline
akan merubah SEMUA perkara selepas titik itu.

kalau aku tak masuk SKSAA, siapa tahu ape pandangan aku thadap Matematik?
sbb kat sinilah aku pertama kali dipuji oleh cikgu, cikgu itu namanya Puan Latipah,
die puji aku sbb aku orang pertama bangun perkenalkan diri.
After that, setiap klas die aku mcam pro-aktif gle.
sonok.
Selalu kne puji ngan die.

kalau aku tak masuk SKRPM, siapa tahu aku mampu tak lepas PTS?
Cg Salleh, cg Maths aku tyme dajah3, slalu encourage untuk PTS.
Cg. Junaidah, boleh aku anggap macam cg yg sangat2 la bnayk tolong aku.
dan masha-Allah, kat sinilah aku rasa sedikit 'erti' kehidupan...

Kalau aku tak kne reject masuk MRSM 1st intake, maybe aku tak dapat masuk PDRM.
Hikmah masuk PDRM?
Subhanallah..
Sinilah tempatnya aku blajar solat.
btol2.
before that malas gile nak solat.
slalu je ponteng2.
lps masuk pDRM barulah aku jaga solat sket2.
sblom tuh, aku rapatkan saf pon tak reti.
kuar2 PDRM, dah mule sket jinak2 ngan kuliah2.
usrah2.
ujong form 3, siap jadik naqib. Abg Yob Norismawandi lantik.
kat sini gak arr aku blaja debat.
tak terhingga terima kaseh aku kat abag im ngan abang aizwan, kak pieqa n all.
sgt2 terima kasih.

pastu kat tepeng.
kalaulah aku tak masuk sini, aku takkan dpat tunjuk ajar ngan 'latihan intensif' dari Cg Abdullah untuk jadikan aku sorang pendebat.
Bilik IL senantiasa akan menjadi kenangan aku.
malam2 yg terdampar kat situ..
Ya Allah manis nya..
rugi aku takde gambanya.
kalau tak konpem aku upload dah.

Kat tepeng gak arr aku dapat masuk debat UIAM.
form4&5.
aku masuk tyme form4 first tyme.
satu team ngan kakella, abgcapiel ngan abgpaan.
dapat jadik best speaker 2-3 kali gak.
ahaks~
tp jadik punce kalah ngan MCKK tyme Octofinal.
sgt mengecewakan.
lepas kalah, cg dolah pggl, die ckaap,
"Aqmin, tahun depan awak jangan masuk bahas. Saya taknak awak dah."

Menanges aku tak leh tahan.
Kawan2 lama, Cg. Umi, Paiz, Kak Pieqa(dr MRSM PDRM) ngan palie pujok aku.
Aku ingat lagi.
dekat UIA.
aku menanges.
kat depan Moot Court.
gile babai nanges.

Kalau aku tak jadik punce kalah, kalau cg dolah tak sound aku camtu, kalau aku tak nanges aritu, aku takkan ade rase dendam ngan debat UIA.
nie lah jadik pendorong aku untuk menggalas tugas sebagai kapten bahas MRSM Taiping 2007(wah.. lantek sdr neh~~~wakaka)
aku cube sedaya upaya carik pmbhas dr juniors.
aku wat 3 kali audition.
semua neh, SENDIRI.

Aku organise practice debat.
aku wat 'modul latihan' sdr.
aku ajar debat(sambil diajar semula sbb kekadang salah~~)
sbb dendam kesumat aku akan balas.

Debat UIA 2007, ktorang langkah kanan mule2.
1st match, lawan skool mane ntah, menang besar.
pastu lawan SBPI Gombak, juara tahon lpas.
pembahas yg sama.
yg penah tewaskan kami waktu preliminary round taon lpas.

Tajuk kali neh, pasal hukuman rotan tak silap.
Menang.
margin 9.5 kot.
pmbhas terbaek?
ehem2.

esok, lwan SAS.
juara 2taon lpas.
menang.
margin 7.
pembahas terbaek?
ehem2.

pastu ade lawan ngan mane2 ntah lg.
tp mmg sgt berapi2 aku waktu tuh.
nak balas dendam.
lawan penoh determination.

Akhernye, hari 2nd last, pancit.
haha..
kalah ngan skolah mane ntah kat octo-final..
tak larat dah..
lol~

tapi neh markah aku untuk round2 preliminary tuh.
tgk number 5.

The 6th IIUM School Debating Championship Rank list (2007) (!!!!)
Speaker's Name and Total
1 MUHAMMAD AFFENDY B HASNI MAKTAB MELAYU KUALA KANGSAR ( A ) 1627
2 DAHLIA HAZIRAH BT JAAFAR SBPI GOMBAK ( A ) 1621
3 NUR HAZDIANA BT LATIP SMS MUZAFFAR SYAH 1620
4 ASLAM B ABD JALIL MAKTAB MELAYU KUALA KANGSAR ( A ) 1618
5 MOHD AQMIN B ABDUL WAHAB MRSM TAIPING ( 1 ) 1614.5
6 MUHAMMAD ADIB B REDZUAN SMS MUZAFFAR SYAH 1614
7 FARAH HUSNA BT MOHD NAZRI SMS POKOK SENA 1612
8 MUHAMMAD KASYFUL AZIM B SHAHLAN SBPI GOMBAK ( A ) 1610
9 MOHAMAD HISYAMUDDIN B GHAZALI SMAP KAJANG 1608.5
10 MOHD SYAFIQ B SAIFULLAH SMS SULTAN HJ AHMAD SHAH 1607


bagi aku, nie 'puncak' pencapaian aku stakat neh.
itulah 1st tyme aku macam sonok sgt menang sumthing.
sgt terharu.
sgt gembira.
sgt sgt.


Dan inilah jugak titik tolak yg menjadikan aku sgt 'confident' dgn diri aku, membantu aku dlam meyakinkan diri untuk SPM, dan jugak interview BNM.

bagi aku, inilah takdirnya.
Kalau satu pun point kat atas tak jadik, maka aku tak kan ade kat tmpat aku skrang.
itu yg aku slalu bgtaw diri aku.

Setiap kali aku down, rase 'bodoh',
rase tak power, rase disappointed,
rase tak bley terima kenyataan,
aku akan tgk my past.


n then aku akan cakap,

Kalaulah Allah tak jadikkan satu pon peristiwa2 lalu kenyataan, mungkin ko takkan jadik Aqmin yg sekarang.
Jadi kenapa aku susah hati dgan peristiwa yg menganggu aku skrg?
Terus, aku akan paham apa itu takdir.
Terus, aku akan paham percaturan Allah itu yg terbaik.
Terus aku tak ragu-ragu lagi dah.
Terus, aku akan redha.
dah terima hakikat, walau apapun ia.
Insha-Allah.

Wallahualam.

Yesterday was probably the most memorable night in London so far, well at least for me it is.
Admittedly, there wasn't much going on yesterday, but this one event organized by Friends of Palestine society In collaboration with MAP(Medical Aid for Palestine) organization, there's this sort of 'talk' given by Dr Mads Gilbert.




Ok.. Back to my point..
Yesterday.. The whole session was mainly about Palestinians..
Their strong resilience.. Their courage.. and how they are being denied the human rights that was largely what most people believe in.
All these were presented by a person..
Though I'm not sure whether he is a muslim or not,
But I am sure of one thing,
this one person have seen, witness and at least understand a bit,
of the pain that our brothers has been experiencing.

His talks was not just merely talks, but more of a experience sharing moments,
where he described this tragedy as an human-made disaster,
which cannot be understood
just by looking at the numbers.
We go through patient by patient,
how terrible their situations,
how horrible their conditions.
All these, just because they are Palestinian.

His 'slow-tone' and rather 'moving' voice, definitely touch many hearts yesterday,
as I saw, not only my very own tears dropping,
but of many others, whom are not even Muslim,
and are not having the kind of love that we should have
towards our own brothers and sisters in Palestine.

How terrible the situation was, is beyond any imaginable thought that ones might have, as it is far disastrous than that.
He showed, and explain, and reached our attentions, by telling the story, the experience that he had, being in Gaza during the past bombing period.
He were there for 23days(If I'm not mistaken)
During this time, he witness, an act that he describe as beyond human being, which he rather believe to be a false truth, but in the end, you can never doubt something that you have seen with your own eyes.

He arrived in Palestine via Egypt, as the entrance to Palestine from North has been blocked, with several Israeli tanks and sieges not allowing any entry.
He stayed in Shifa' Hospital, the place where he saw many of his patients come and go, just as if it was a morning clinic with loads of feverish people coming in.
And the most horrific thing about this is that, more than half of this patients are children and women!!

and the ugliest comment that you can ever see from such inhuman-act is given out by shimon perez, the president of Israel.
He said,

"Israel's aim, he said, was to provide a strong blow to the people of Gaza so that they would lose their appetite for shooting at Israel.
Implementation of the current operation had gone 90 percent according to plan."

from http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1231950849038&pagename=JPArticle/ShowFull

note that from his quote up there, he said that the aim was to provide a strong blow to the PEOPLE of Gaza.
not the armed 'terrorist', not the 'Hamas' NO.
but the people. CIVILIAN.
and guess what?
these civilians ARE CHILDREN!
For goodness sake, why?
They(israeli) have been using state-of-the-art drone fighters, which mostly was built in US(not sure whether they are 'presents' or something from US), which has no pilot in it,
because it was controlled by well-trained pilot from thousands of miles away, with joystick with which they can shoot and launch missiles etc. from.



They apply the kill and forget policy, which the pilot can take a break from their 'duty' and have fun or even go back home to their family and all.
they can land the drone to somewhere where theres thousands of tanks and sieges, (which I'm quite sure its almost everywhere) and they can 'shutdown' their exciting little game. GAME OF KILLING!

And for you information, these drones are not used during one-off-attack only.
Instead, its being used EVERY DAY, almost every hour you can hear the buzzing of the drone on top of you head, and you would probably need to run, as you never know, these drones sometimes 'accidentally' dropped their missiles on civilian.

Oh, and yeah, about the drones again. Their missiles are super-world class, it has cameras on it, that will show live broadcast of where this bloody missile are going to hit, WHO they are about to crash into, whether its a pregnant mom, a small kid, an old farmer or a fully equipped man with bombs and rifles on him. THEY CAN SEE THIS CLEARLY. yet, they wanted to kill the children instead. look at these shirts, worn by Israeli soldier(or more like robots) WITH PRIDE.
the left one means 1 shot/bullet 2 kills.(the way I see it:killing this pregnant women will kill her as well as her unborn baby. its DOUBLE KILL man!)
the right one means the smaller the bigger.(the way I see it:since this kid is a small lil kid, why not blasting him off with a bigger gun, bazooka maybe?)

there's also a short video showing the situation as these drones approach an area. Which is, like almost all the time. I'm soo sorry I did'nt manage to find the link.. But yesterday it was shown in the lecture hall, and indeed it was damn scary.Horrifying scenes.
You ain't seeing a horror movie until you've seen this.



no no no.. don't close your eyes just yet. You have yet to witness the world's Nobel Prize of Peace Winner in action just yet!
Shimon Perez, alongside his Prime Minister(its weird isn't? Israel have a President(perez) and a PM(nentanhya--- whatever?)) declares that the world's law of wars need to be reevaluated, as they feel Israel should be given a bigger role in fighting terrorist(something like this).
Translation: We want to kill everyone we like, don't disturb us.

For goodness sake, are they even human?
And seriously, all these are nothing compared to what Dr. Mads Gilbert had said yesterday.
he often say that these tragic disaster cannot be understood in numbers, statistics, you need to know the individual cases to understand the scene better.

he first started showing pictures of a girl, 9 months, brought to the hospital, without any relatives or families around her.
She lost 3 fingers, thumb, 2nd finger n 3rd one.
She had a largely burnt body, a result of the real 'terror' in this case.

Then there's this boy, aged 11, was found barely breathing, with one of his leg(from waist) cut off. another leg suffer severe bruises and his 'tapak kaki' was already in cut into several pieces.
from waist and above, everything was ok. no real bruises, nothing. only his legs were torn apart.
He died a few minutes later.
TO be honest, how this boy can be hurt this bad?
of course, its the DIME bomb these stup*d drones are using.
DIME is indeed a powerful bomb, that releases several other metals like sharpnel, which will basically cuts everything in the range of what? 10 metres maybe?

Then theres another girl, aged 15, found without legs.
( Dr. Mads remembers every single name of his patients)

then there another small girl, aged 4
she was super-quiet.
she was sent alone in an ambulance,(because Israeli sieges are guarding the area, and they don't allow anyone to move from one place to another freely)
and when Dr Mads and his colleagues checked her, they found a big hole behind her back, affecting her spinal cord. He mentioned about some weird words(probably medical terms) that they carry out, and Alhamdulillah she was saved.
but then, Dr Mads continue, for the rehabilitation, he check on her, and the only thing that he heard coming out of her mouth was ''mama....mama....mama...'' whispering so sharply, so thin voice so deep.
Dr Mads said, that was indeed the voice that he can remember most from Gaza.
the sharp whispering of a small Palestinian girl, who wanted to see her mom.

Then there's another patient, ALSO A SMALL kid, found badly injured.
Her father, Khaled Abed Rabbo was reported to quote

"Two soldiers were on the tank eating chips, then one man came out of the tank with a rifle and started shooting the kids,"

source--please read this, amazingly important.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/gaza-i-watched-an-israeli-soldier-shoot-dead-my-two-little-girls-1452294.html

It was his kids that he meant, both of his daughters to be accurate was killed. and luckily the 3rd daughter, was 'only' badly injured.


So, is this the democracy that we're talking about?
is this the great 'peace' that we're living in?
Is this the mightily 'justice' we're boasting around?
Go and throw them away.
They ain't exist.

Before this, it takes a person to BE a terrorist to deny them world's protection.
Nowadays, it takes one random quote from some 'animals' to do the same.

During the Gaza conflict early this year, a school was also bomb.
UN school. A place where it has been guaranteed safe by UN.
was bomb.
A lot of CHILDREN were killed.
when being asked by reporters, what did the Israel spokesperson answer?
they are being used by Hamas as a barrack etc etc.
that's the echoes of their 'default' answer.

When the reporters asked about the number of children being killed, guess what the answer?
"THEY ARE HAMAS CHILDREN"
wth???
These innocent children has nothing to do with the bloody politic that they are fighting against.
even if there are, Israel has no right to shoot them like that.
speaking about rights, Hamas won the election, FAIR and SQUARE. the result of the election has been verified and recognized by many agencies and bodies.
Where is the JUST you were talking about?

My brothers, sisters, you have yet to see the full picture just yet.
Believe me, you have yet see the true picture.
When I was in the lecture hall yesterday, I was trying not to cry most of the time.
but seeing, well, more on hearing(*it was dark actually, the light were switched off) other people which are not even muslims cry, it showed something.
There's lot of charity body coming yesterday, to show their support.
Dr. Mads said, Palestinian don't need our money that much, they need our support the most.
They felt as if they have been betrayed by the rest of the world, since in their eyes, there is no justice, let alone world peace.

Dr. Mads himself has been criticized by many people, saying that he should do what a doctor does, and not as a reporter.
But Dr. Mads final last word yesterday,

"Does reporting these make me a terrorist? If so, then BE IT!"

Can you imagine his spirit? His willingness?
Ya Allah, If he is not a Muslim, show him the light Ya Allah. Show us the light. Let us be among the one you bless. Aameen.

And oh yeah, I forgot to mention the phosphorus bomb yet.
Well, maybe lots of you have already know it anyway.
These bombs not only kills, but also retards your growth, etc2.

too much said,
Ask your self, are you a human?

*to see more about Dr Mads and his journey and experience in Gaza, go to youtube, write Dr. Mads Gaza.
Wassalam.

Sebelum kite ckap ape2, Meh tgk dulu gambo2 dr Notts Game.
:)















Hee~
best gak jumpe member2 lame tyme notts game ari tu.. Terubat gak arr rhendu sket2...

Erm... Back to our point... Hidup di perantauan..
Jujur aku cakap, hidup kat sinilah saat paling mencabar bwat masa neh untuk aku.. Tp Alhamdulillah, kat sini gak arr aku blaja A LOT of things, especially about Islam.
Betapa Indahnya "brotherhood" dlm Islam tu, aku ease kat sini je la aku dpt rase. Contoh plg bes, td tyme dinner, aku makan ngan A'dil ngan Yosef, sorang Pakistani Brtsh, sorang Palestinian German. Sangat best. Ktorang ckp psl eid adha, psl places in London, psl medic(A'dil bdk medic) n mcm2 lg!! Psl family, psl foods, psl skype dll.. Best sgt!! Ade la dkt 2 jam... Haha.. Tak jadik aku study td.

Pastu Adil ajak pg talk palestin esok dr Dr ape ntah.. She's a Chinese Malaysian!! I'm really looking forward for tmmrw.. Hrmm.. Alhamdulillah, walau jauh dr sedare2, aku dpt dok dkt ngan 'sedara' seagama dr tmpat lain... Indahnya takdir Allah..

Salam.
Just got back from from a session with Bank Of England's
Deputy gabenor, Charlie Bean.
He gave a talk on the previous financial crisis(while largely putting the blame on US economy) and gave(should gave) an insight review of why was it bad, n what BoE had done to cope with the problem. It was ok, but me, Deepak n Bhavik hardly appreciate his talks. Lol~




Btw, before that, I bought a curry chicken with rice in ULU. Then I ate it with my kitchen mate, Yosef.(well, of course, he ate his own meal, which happens to be curry chcken as well!!)
Yosef's father is a Palestinian. He went to Germany, to study medicine and end up marrying a local women.
Then there came Yosef, a German guy.

I have to say, talking with Yosef is definitely one of the most exciting thing to do in the kitchen(other than burning my hand of course:] ).
He told me that he often go back to Palestine as most of his relatives are still there.
He said that once, when he was still small, there was this 'intifada. There were a lot of soldiers carrying weapon and all that, and such situation was already being seen by a small kid of what, 5 or something.
And he also told me about the refugee camp, which was quite near to the place where his relatives stay, often was inspected by the Israelis. And most of the time, they came by tank, and seems the road in that area is super-small, they will make an announcement asking all occupier to leave the building, and using these tanks, they will RAMP through all the buildings there!!!
Can you imagine that???
Yosef said, for Palestinian, such situation is almost routine for them that they are quite used to it.
He even mentioned that one of his cousins was imprisoned by the Israelis for nothing.
That how bad the situation is.

Dear brothers . If you look at the Palestinian, you'll see how tough and brave they are, just to defend their own country, for their own religion.
Will you do the same if asked to?

And one more thing, living in London had definitely opened my eyes at how beatiful is Islam with it's beotherhood thingy. Qhen I go to the prayers hut, there were multiple races there, Malays, Pakistani, Arabs, maurice, and a whole lot of other ppl. But we are all here united, they are super-friendly, especially qhen they were told that you are a Muslim as well. They call u brother, they ask your well-being, they asked about your studies and all just like they really cares. You see, being here 'almost alone' makes you feel lonely. But with these brothers, i felt the secure feeling, feel just as if being taken care of, being help in some way. Here I sad it, I never felt as prud as I am now being a Muslim.
Alhamdulillah~~
may Allah show me the right path.
Aameen
--Posted from my iPhone

Right now it's autumn.
Damn cold already. Can't imagine what it's like in the winter.. Hopefully I won't die freezing.. Lol~

Look at some of this pics. Classy~~











All the leaves are falling already.. Not long from now, there won't be any leaf left. It just shows us that time never wait for u. It just keep on going no matter what you do.
So value and use ur time carefully, as it ain't coming back. Ever.
And if there's anything I can learn from this. It's definitely not to linger. Do everything decisively, as well as instantly, so that the chance will not past away. So, move ur lazy bum, at start doing things the right way. N create greatness in ur life. Because you know, you are destined for such things.

-----posted from my iPhone

Moral of movie~
Most of the time, people tend to not realize what they are capable of doing, until one day something happened, when they gonna have to put their true colors on.
They will perform way above their expectations, that they will feel that they got everything that they've always wanted.
But when this moment finally arrives, lots of people will eventually get over themselves, that they forgot at the end of the day, they are after all, just one helpless human being.
They will start to be too ambitious, and put enormous pressure on themselves, which will eventually came back haunting their lives.
Remember, we are after all Allah's creatures. He is the only person that can help us no matter what the situation is. If you fall, just remember, you just got another reason to come back stronger.

Alhamdulillah, all praise be to Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most merciful.
Today, I got a chance to attend a debate between two great people, with undoubtedly abundant knowledge.
It was a debate between
Mr. Hamza Andreas Tzortzis. *click to see his blog*
(He is a senior researcher and lecturer for iERA. He has participated in debates both at home and internationally with leading academics and intellectuals. Hamza delivers lectures across the world to articulate and shed indispensable light on Islam and its way of life.)

and Mr. Rick Lewis
(he is the founder and editor of Philosophy Now, and thereby one of the main initiators of the popular philosophy movement in the English speaking world.)


It was indeed a very interesting session, which mostly talk about the definition of good deeds, who draws the line between good and evil etc.
It all starts with Mr Hamza making his opening speech, where he underlines 2 main points, which is
1.God make sense to the explanation of the origin of life
2.God make sense to the explanation og the fine tuning of life.

Infinity, a word which means no beginning nor ending, is according to him non-existence in this life. He starts off by giving an analogy to negate this fact, in order to show people that everything starts off with something.
He said,
''If I have an infinite number of bananas, and I give someone 2 bananas, what is the remaining bananas that I still have?''
"yeah, it doesn't make sense doesn't it? It only bananas to you right?"
and the hall broke into laughter.
Then he starts explaining the Big Bang Theory, which he claims to be VERY VERY magical, because of its rareness.
The probability of it happening is so low, that it must not happen by its own, there must be 'Someone' who make it happen.
Even according to him, a lot of scientist(he gave about 4-5 names really, but I can't remember any. lol~) said that even if the expansion rate of the matter after the Big Bang differ by 1/(10^10), (which really really small), the world will collapse and the living intelligent on this world will not exist.
Then there's lot of other points, (where I couldn't remember~~:p )
He did say things about everything must have its own purpose, causes etc.

Then it was Rick's turn.
He started off by questioning the definition of the word GOD itself.
It was indeed true what he said, where the definition of GOD is indeed very wide.
Sometimes, people believe that the nature itself as 'god'.
Then he starts questioning about the nature of God, what is HE like, what etc.
He even included the 'problem of evil.'
He also said something about
''I haven't found anything that cannot be described without believing in god''
*maksudnya, suma benda boleh explain even kalo kita tak kait kan dengan tuhan.*
and then he argued *this one aku tak berapa paham*
about the purpose of God creating the world.
He said, before the Big Bang Theory, there is no time.
*the definition of time: starts AFTER big bang.*
hence there should not be a ''cause'' for making the world, because causes must be followed by effects, which must be related to time."



But he DO have one very good point.
*he approximately said this one.*
Things right now as it happened, though the probability of it happening is mightily low, means that other events also can happen, no matter how low the probability is.
I mean the Earth, even by the slightest difference, might cause the human not compatible to live in it. But we never know, if the difference might suit other living organism.
Then they will say how precise 'god' is, though the fact it all happen randomly.

Then we all proceed to the Q&A session, where there is lots of hands raised to ask.
Here where it gets a lil' bit better I mean, only here I heard what I want to hear, because throughout the debate, both speakers never actually face-to-face with each other.
One person says about 1+1=2, the other said 5+2=7.
There was no direct contact really.
They were just arguing about definitions, epistemological, and then some other weird ''philosophical'' words.
No direct engagement with the content.
but during the Q&A, people asks, and then only it starts to be a bit exciting.
someone asked about islam, qoran etc.
someone else questions about atheism, etc.
then there were even an old lady who express her opinion about religion brings wars etc.
then there's a christian who wanted Mr Hamza to comment on the book of revelation etc.
all in all, the experience was amazing.

HOWEVER, there is something that I found uncomfortable though.
Its the fact that when it comes to talks as such, there will be A LOT of muslems, and we are the majority.
BUT that doesn't make us better.
I mean, a lot of people were giving gestures and scary look when Mr Rick talks.
I believe NO ONE can give a good talk when he is surrounded as such.
and then when there's this man claiming ''I am a christian, and I wanna......"
suddenly the crowd makes an uncomfortable sound.
WHAT IS THIS eh?
Fine we all believe in Allah, Alhamdulillah.
But WHY MUST WE sort of ''hate'' other people?
If they don't believe in what we do, stop hating them as such!
I mean, even Allah had said once in surah Al-Kafirun, the last verse.
"for you your religion, for me mine."
There's this sceptically feeling that most muslim acted badly towards others that make them feel as if
"its either you're a muslim, or you're an enemy''
OMG!!!

what is it yeah?
Pleasse.
For Ad-din.
Lets make the change, Insha-Allah.