Pain In Agony

At last, the class starts~~~~~~~
I'm not sure whether I'm ready or not for the lectures and all, but seriously, I am overly excited!!
I bought lots of ref. books already(hopefully I won't be selling it back next year as an 'unused' book, if you know what I mean...)
There's this Macroeconomics book, by Williamson, which Professor Nicola Pavoni seems to like very much.

It costs me about 4o£, for a new book.(some seniors are selling the very same book for about 30£++, so I figured that I might as well buy a brand new one :)
But the thing is, when it arrives, I was very excited. I open the parcel(by DHL btw~), but as soon as I turned the first page, there was this symbols that makes me feel disgruntled a bit.
it written there RM79.95
I was like, OH MY GOD!!! Is this book from Malaysia????
Then I look back at the parcel, and certainly, the order that I place to a seller who called himself as uk-textbook-store or something was a Malaysian.
That means, I bought something that could only cost me RM80 for 40£.
that was like RM150 more!!!
but I think it was ok, because even in Waterstone, when I check it, it costs around 50-60£. and since the book arrived just 2 days after my purchase, so I was quite pleased though.


Then the classes.
again, OH MY GOD.
Seriously, what the heck is all this?
I mean, the lecturers was all quite interesting, and indeed knowledgeable, but the students...
Aaarggghh..
Everyone seems to be trying to show off or something, there's this "I am cleverer than you are"
feeling each time someone raise up their hand.
Well you see, I don't mind if they just wanna ask question or sumthing, but the problem is, some people just raised their hand to voice out the ''knowledge''.
Just as if there are the only person that know where the google is, the wiki and all.
HELLO~~
If you wanna talk about financial crisis, when someone else is talking about something, just to show to everyone that you read the news, COME ON???
Its just like you wanna tell a group of world leaders ''How to cook curry".
Da~~~(fine, maybe I was exaggerating, but seriously~)

And the lectures.. Errggghh.. Never thought it would very hard to become a good uni student..
The lectures only cover like 15% of the things that you need to know, and the rest is entirely up to you.
That means, for Econs, I have to read thousands of articles just to equipped myself for the modules...
*that doesn't count those that I want to 'brag' about in class.. deeerrrggghh... :S *

But overall, I have to say, life never gets easier eh?

Semalam, Newcastle seri dengan WBA. 1-1. gol NUFC dijaringkan oleh Damien Duff. Keseluruhan, newcastle tidak mengawal permainan dengan baik dan WBA pasti berasa rugi kerana corak permainan yang agak 'narrow' mereka gagal memanfaatkan peluang yang terhidang. Aku menonton siaran langsung perlawanan ini semalam dengan niat untuk 'menghilang'kan rasa gemuruh. Tapi tak berjaya.

Tapi bukan itu yang penting nya. Aku sangat gemuruh. Bak kata lagu tema MOC,

Gemuruh jiwa
semangat membara
Dari puncak ingin ke angkasa
Berkalungkan bintang berkelipan
Menyinar jauh dari yang biasa

Entah la apa takdir yang Allah SWT telah aturkan untuk aku. Adakah aku sudah bersedia menghadapinya? selama ini aku asyik mengelakkan diri dari berfikir tentang hari Isnin 10 hb ini. Sangat tidak stabil rasanya hormon2 badan ini bila fikir tentang detik yang dahsyat ini.

Secara jujurnya, aku ingin memperoleh keputusan yang sangat mantop. Siapa taknak?
Tapi berdasarkan jawapan yang aku mampu berikan pada peperiksaan lalu, aku dapat rasakan yang perkara itu mungkin sedikit sukar untuk berlaku. Aarrrghh... Macam mana nak hadapi hari esok nie????

Dulu, tyme sekolah menengah, member aku pernah kasik kata2 semangat yang aku rasa sangat mantop. dia cakap,
"Apa-apa pun yang terjadi, ingatlah satu perkara, Allah lebih mengetahui berbanding kita. Ilmu Allah maha luas. Ingatlah, apabila sesuatu perkara telah terjadi, ia bermakna peristiwa itu sudah berlalu. Walau air mata darah sekalipun yang mengalir keluar, fahamilah, perkara itu sudah BERLAKU. orang puteh cakap, "there's no use crying over spilled milk."

Oleh itu, aku telah mengambil keputusan. Esok, tepat jam 8.01 pagi, aku akan berada depan komputer. Aku akan letakkan username n password aku. Aku akan tekan ENTER. aku akan lihat paparan di monitor dengan hati yang reda. selepas itu, aku akan masuk ke dalam bilik. aku akan duduk di atas katil, menghadap cermin. Aku akan tanya diri aku, "apa pula selepas ini". Regardless result yang macam mane aku dapat esok, ternyata, aku masih perlu melakukan perkara ini.

Aku sedang berada di PERSIMPANGAN. segala usaha aku menjawab A-level dulu adalah umpama usaha seorang anak kecil meyakinkan ayahnya untuk singgah ke kedai membeli gula2. tiba di persimpangan, ayah akan membuat pilihan, untuk membelok atau terus jalan ke hadapan. Kalau terus, mungkin ayah ingin membawa aku kedai gula2 tersebut. Kalau membelok, mungkin ayah ingin membawaku pulang sahaja.

Andai ayah membawa aku terus, biarlah aku selamat sampai ke kedai tersebut, dan selamat membeli gula2 tersebut.

Andai ayah membawa aku pulang ke rumah terus, moga aku tidak akan menangis teresak-esak kecewa dsb. Moga tindakan ayah ini ada hikmahnya. Mana tahu, mungkin ayah ingin membuat kejutan untukku dengan membawa aku ke kedai gula-gula yang lebih besar?

Moga apa sahaja yang berlaku di persimpangan ini adalah yang terbaik untukku.Aamin.


Allahumma
Ampunkanlah dosa hambamu yang jahil ini ya Allah
Tunjukkan hambamu yang buta ini jalan kebenaran ya Allah
Jauhkan bala bencana dari hambamu yang lemah tak bermaya ini ya Allah
Berikanlah aku dan rakan-rakanku kesudahan yang terbaik untuk kami
Sesungguhnya Engkau lebih Mengetahui.

"Allah tidak akan membebankan kamu dengan bebanan yang kamu tidak mampu tanggung."



PS: Apa-apa pun, penulis rasanya akan menyepi seketika. blog, FB, email, sms, dsb mungkin tidak akan aktif bwat sementara waktu..
btw, Perasaan gemuruh, gementar, cuak, takut, tidak sedap badan, gabra dsb semua ada. Kepada rakan-rakan yang bwat course medic, apakah symptom2 penyakit yang dihidapi penulis ini? haha

Hye there!~ Peace be upon you~

Atm, I still have 4 papers to go. Can't wait to finish them all, so that I can enjoy my holidays!
Before I continue with my holiday plans, I think I should include a few "highlights" from the past two weeks.
Lets start with the "good things" first shall we?

Ok, the first good thing must be the Chemistry Practical and Further Pure. Alhamdulillah, I felt very comfortable after both of these papers. Hopefully the result will be as good as my feelings. :)

Then, there was my old friend, back from primary school(SKRPM) called me. {well, literally I called her, but she's the one asking me to do so} She and a few other old classmates( 5/6 R) was there, celebrating teachers day. I missed my teachers!! huhu..

Oh, ya, btw, I felt very much energetic last week. It was the first ever time I go out and sports( I played Basketball, football, pingpong, and I even tried my hands(well, it should be my legs) on jogging. I felt so happy, and relaxed as well.

Ok, now the bad things. I did mention about Newcaslte Utd being underthreat of relegation did'nt I? well, its no longer a nightmare, it is the plain truth. As Al said during the post-match interview, "the table did'nt lie. We deserved to be relegated". It was so heartbreaking the swallow the fact that The Magpies are no longer in the EPL. then who's going to be the most fanatic and fantastic fans in PL now? haisyh..

Then, It was Mike Ashley, who couldnt help himself seeing the geordie nation in massive pain, added salt to the wound. He announced that Newcaslt will again be put on sale. There you go, the big "STABILITY" word that came out of his very own mouth does'nt seem to be what he's looking for eh?

Then, on tuesday, it was the Applied Maths. I have to say, IT'S really hard!! well, I don't really know what I should do, I think I missed out about 20 marks or so.. huhu.. Looks like I'm going to be mightily nervous comes August(or was it June when the result being announced?) owh..

I think that's all the 'big' events I've gone trough this two weeks.. Hrm.. About my future plans for the holidays.. lets see...

-I wanted to go back to my secondary school~MRSM taiping~ to collect my SPM certificate. I heard the "pesta debat" is also fast approaching. If possible, It would be very nice to observe as well.

-I got BNM's Pre-Departure Camp.. Its on 26th of June.. 4 days at Lanai Kijang.. Well, its not so bad is'nt it?

-Then I also got BTN.. the date has yet to be confirmed.

-I want to learn cooking! I definitely gonna miss M'sians food.. better learn how to cook my fav dish~Gulai lemak Paku+Ayam Masak Merah~ quickly.. Hrmn... Rendang Dinding must be on the schedule as well, and then there's Kari Ikan Kayu, bla, bla, bla... Er.. can I just bring my mother as well? hee

-I have'nt got my driving license.. so far I just used my mother's scooter without having a driving license.. It's wrong I know, but what do you expect?

-Then, I really need to strengthen my understanding in Islam. I'm quite sure there's a hell lot of obstacles out there. A wise man once said, "sediakan payung sebelum hujan!!"

-I promised my self to 'khatam' Al-Quran at least once more before I depart. Hopefull I'll finish it as well...

Hey, wait a minute.. Its not as if its 'certain' that i'm going to UCL anyway! Well, I don't think its wrong to prepare things right? haha..

Its been quite a while since I last wrote here. Well, you see, I'm having 7 papers this coming 2 weeks. I need to put a lot of efforts in order to achieve what I want. I just want to update on a few things. First stop, the light things.

I hate to say this, but it seems Newcastle very much are in great danger of being relegated after losing to Fulham(a match where I sincerely think Newcastle was the better side, deserving all 3 points). I can't ever remember when was the time when we were in such pain, just imagine, being relegated with just one point short. The last time I remember such things happen was in 2004 I think, when Graeme Souness was in charge when Newcastle finish 5th, with a mere 2 points from Champions League. The next two season, fans surrounded St. James' Park, forcing Souness to quit the job. Ironically, it was the next 5 year when we are actually fighting relegation. How's that for a heartbreaker? from 5th to 18th in just 5 years? I bet the man behind this sabotage must be very proud of himself, destroying a proud club in a very-very short time. Impressive. Just to be a little less pessimist, next up is Aston Villa. Our last chance to avoid being the next Leeds if you know what I mean. Lets just pray miracle do exist. :)

Secondly, just yesterday night, after USRAH (title "banyak seperti buih"), my PetFamily were having a somesort of small birthday party. Frankily, I was actually against doing it at the first, (considering all of us in the family were very much not closed) but considering it could be the last time we are going to be together, I resist my will. We celebrated Aliya,Syawal, and Hadith 's birthday. Ili was the man(or should I say the wo-man) behind all these. We ate cakes, pizzas, Icecream and much more. I was actually bloated yesterday,(and quite sleepy too, I slept at 2.00am, far from my usual night routine).

Next up is this whole week. I have to admit, these few weeks, I have become somebody who I hardly know. I act differently, I behave differently, I do things that I don't normally did, and I regret doing all of it. I have to say, my path had deviated too far from its initial line. I guess I was just under enormous pressure that had forced me to "evolve" and be a different person. I, as usual, a hot-tempered person, being relentless most of the time, had a very difficult decisions to make the last few weeks. But after going through it now, I can see all the mistakes that I've made back then. I realise, when we fell, we always wanted to comeback stronger. we wanted to fly higher. But that does not mean we have to fly differently, that we might even fall subsequently and hurt our wings that we cannot fly again. Get what I mean?


Don't change who you are. But change what you want to be, what drives you forward. You are gifted. Everyone is. So don't try to reminisce other, as you are unique on your own,
YOU COMPLETE THE WORLD.

Remember MYC? "begin with the end in mind". That should drive you the right way.

Yay! Just now, around 8.00 pm, my father arrived to take me home. I felt so happy that I can actually spend tonight(and the next two night) at home, weee..

Actually, I went back because I needed to. I had an appointment with my doctor to check my disease.. Hopefully I'll be fine..

That's not really what I wanted to write this time.. I don't feel like writing a hell lot bout Perak either, as I felt its just a waste of time and space. Well, you see, earlier this week, Nizar had won the trial, and was clarified as the MB of Perak. But the next day, BN proposed to some sort of delay the decision, and ask the court to re-evaluate their decision. Thus, as I said previously, unless one side surrender, the mess will go on further, and we, the public are the one who'll suffer. You see, if I'm not mistaken, the MB issue had been the trumpet in Perak for about 2 months now(i think..hee..) and during this period of time, the state of confidence in the gov. had been stripped off day after day. Atm, I hate to say this, but i honestly think this is the worst-ever embarrassing situation recorded in the history of Malaysia, and maybe even mankind, for that purpose. Who knows, one day, it'll be recorded in SPM history textbook, and our sons and daughters are going to laugh learning the past. They'll say, "daddy, why is it people in that generation so dumb and funny?". So, I think all of us better think of an answer now, or else we'll be embarrassed by our own child..

Btw, as I said, that's not really what I wanted to write. I wanted to say
HOWAY THE LADS~
yep, the magpies are soaring high again(well, not really high, but escaping the relegation will still be considered to be satisfactory you see) next up, against Fulham. really hope the likes of lovenkrands martins nolan and co will step up the plate again. huhu..


Nyway, A-level exam is just around the corner(for some, it had already started!) but this does not stop the over-energized kyuemians to celebrate TEACHER'S day! there were lots of interesting and fantastic spectacles on show, but then again, I really think some of them was a little bit too much. Now again, I'm nobody to say anything.. The vid. presentation was really sweet, but some singing(hard-metal ones you see) certainly was'nt my cup of coffee... Then there some other events, which, doesnt really interest me... well, the "are you smarter than an A-level student" part was quite fabulous though.. haha.. Only that the questions asked to Zat n Rashdan was very-very hard, if not we would have won it..hee..

In this particular chance, I would like to honour some of my beloved teachers..

;Miss Sheila
;Miss Chan
;Miss Ng(kindergarden teachers)

Pn Latipah(stdrd one teacher, Maths, English)
Pn. Aminah(BM teacher, std 1)
Pn Junaidah(BM teacher, stdrd 2,3)
Pn Jemiah(maths teacher, std 5.. I remember hurting her heart once.. sorry again..)
Pn A'isyah(islamic study teacher, std 2,3, arab teacher 5,6)
En. Saad(islamic teacher, std 5,6)
En. Salleh,(maths teacher std 2,3)
En. Jefri(KH teacher, 5,6)
Pn. Rokiah(maths teacher, std 6)
En. Azman(english teacher, std 2,3)
Pn. Marhani(english teacher, 5,6)
Pn. Aishah(BM, KT teacher, 5,6)

Pn. Nazliah(maths teacher, form 1,2,3.. can't imagine my life if you were'nt there! thanks a lot!)
Pn. Nik Sobariah(maths teacher, form 3)
Pn. Suriani(geography teacher, form 3)
En. Pauzi(geography teacher, form 1,2)
En. Rahamaat(History teacher, form 1,2)
Pn. Roslaini(BM teacher, form 1)
Pn. Umi Kalsom(BM teacher form 2,3, also Taught me DEBAT)
Pn. Fazliaty(english teacher, form 1,2,3)
Sir Khairil(science teacher, form 3)
Pn. Khadijah(science teacher, form 1,2)
En. ISA(KH teacher, 1,2,3. I miss you sooo much...)
Pn. Nafsiah(History teacher, form 3)
Ustaz Faiz, (arab teacher, 1,2,3)
Ustazah aminah(islamic teacher, form1,2)
Ustaz Syed Basir(islamic teacher, form 3)

En. Yusof(BM teacher, form 4,5)
En. Abdullah(DEBAT)
En. Hairulzam(chem teacher, form 4,5)
Teacher Farah(english teacher, form 5)
Teacher Chan Kum Leen(english teacher, form 4)
PN. salwa(mod&add maths teacher, form 4,5..I'll never forget your contribution!!thanks a lot!!)
Pn. Rohani(bio teacher, form 4,5)
Pn. Juliati,(physics teacher, form 4,5)
Ustazah noraminah(islamic, form 4)
Ustazah monaliza(islamic, form 5)
En. Azlin, (history teacher, form 4)
Pn. Suhana(history teacher, form 5)
Pn. Nor Bita(EST teacher, form 4,5)


Dr. Jamal Krouser Bano, (pure maths, Further PM)
Mr. Colin Dant, (Mechs, Stats, Further AM)
Miss Shree(chem)
Mr. Graham Hanson(Chem)
Miss Noor Zaihan(Economics)
Ustaz Malikie(Islamic)
Pn. Halijah(MS)
Madame Madeline Rosario(IELTS)
Mr. Ian Boler(ICT)

HAPPY TEACHERS DAY!! THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!!!

Sekarang memang sangat sibuk. sibuk dengan kertas2 past papers yang belum dihabiskan.. rasanya sangat rugi kalau tak sempat buat past papers tu sebelum periksa yang sebenar. Kalau kira-kira, ade lebih kurang 22 hari je lagi nak start paper exam!(untuk aku arr..)

Malam neh, aku ngan chaletmate seperjuanganku, Hafidz, Shahir ngan Eirzreen semua dok wat further ja.. nak bagi mantop... maklumla, nak fly pgie universty pilihan semua nak further A. Kalau dulu, rasanya tak nampak langsung camna nak dapat A. Tapi sekarang, insya-Allah, kalau wat latihan manyak2, n keep your head cool, bleh jawab kot.. huhu..



Malam neh, aku ngan hafidz stay up lame sket kot.. sampai kol 3... nak tgk barca maen malam neh.. hehe.. semalam dah tengok MU dah..

K ar.. saje ja nak update.. lame sesangat tak tuleh paper kat sini.. To my chaletmates,
"go.go.go... Insya-Allah berjaya..." hehe...